During 2009 and 2010, the US Strategic Command developed a zombie survival plan as a training tool. The zombie scenario was chosen as a fictional example that would not be mistaken for a real strategic plan.
Fans of wildly popular zombie fiction might disagree.
The “Counter-Zombie Dominance” plan details defensive operations to counter an outbreak of zombies (Zombie Conditions, or Z-CONS for short). It identifies several classes of zombies:
PZ’s are zombie life forms created after an organism is infected by a virus or bacteria or some other form of contagion.
RZ’s are zombie life forms created after an organism is infected by an extreme dosage of electromagnetic and/or particle radiation.
EMZ’s are zombie life forms created via some form of occult experimentation in what might otherwise be referred to as “evil magic”.
1. SZ’s are zombie life forms originating from space or created by toxic contamination of the Earth environment via some form of extra-terrestrial toxin or radiation.
2. “Zombie satellites” can be classified as SZ’s, however, they pose no danger to humans (unless they conduct an unplanned de-orbit). Typically, zombie satellites only pose a threat to SATCOM services like DirectTV (Refer to Galaxy 15 incident – May 2010).
1. WZ’s are zombie life forms deliberately created via bio/bio-mechanical engineering for the purpose of being employed as weapons. Zombie weaponization programs and supporting infrastructures are included in COAs to deal with these threats.
2. The movie “The Crazies” exemplifies the most common type of WZ (humans turned into zombies via exposure to toxic chemicals/gasses).
SIZ’s are zombie life forms originating from the introduction of a symbiont life form into an otherwise healthy host. Although the symptoms of symbiont zombieism are similar in most regards to pathogenic zombieism, the symbiont does not kill the host organism quickly, or at all. However, there is no known way to save an organism after zombieism has occurred — even if the symbiont is removed.
1. VZ’s are zombie life forms originating from any cause but which pose no direct threat to humans because they only eat plant life (as indicated in the popular game “Plants Vs. Zombies”). Although VZ’s do not attack humans or other animal life, they will consume all plant life in front of them. They can cause massive deforestation or elimination of basic food crops essential to humans (rice, corn, soybeans).
2. Of note, where normal carniverouse [sic] zombie commonly groan the word “brains” semi-comprehensibly, VZ’s can be identified by their aversion to humans, affinity for plants and their tendency to semi-comprehensibly groan the word “grains”.
1. Although it sounds ridiculous, this is actually the only class of zombie proven to exist.
2. CZ’s were first documented in Jonathan M. Forrester’s 4 Dec 2006 online article “Zombie Chickens Taking Over California”.
3. CZ’s occur when old hens that can no longer lay eggs are incorrectly euthanized by poultry farmers using carbon monoxide. The hens are then deposited in large piles to decompose. The hens appear to be dead when buried, but inexplicably come back to life and dig themselves out from the piles of dead chickens.
4. CZ’s are simply terrifying to behold and are likely only to make people become vegetarians in protest to animal cruelty. They appear to be no direct threat to humans. They are different from WZ’s because they are the result of actions taken to kill a living organism vs. actions taken to deliberately re-animate dead organisms or impair life functions to a minimal function.
Although seemingly tongue-in-cheek, zombie preparedness plans are actually a valuable tool in planning for more mundane disasters.
In 2012, Bangor, Maine was one of several cities that took part in a multi-county zombie pandemic drill. First responders learned how to deal with mass casualties, triage, and the logistics of distributing supplies to survivors, while the locals learned disaster preparedness, and how to seek safety outside of their immediate community.
And the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention created a stir when they posted Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse campaign for disaster readiness.
Intrigued? Download the Counter-Zombie Dominance Plan, and remember that effective triage and quarantine are essential to maintaining a healthy population. Report all bites immediately!